little flower

Life is a shadow
I see it in early morning light
Look how you weep over yours
In moonlight
I am illuminated
The sun is atrocious
I wilt, I wither
I am attractive
Insects flock to me
Children too
They trample over me
My silent shrieks have deafened me.
Above, the black clouds,
Saunter up and about
The stony sky falls on me
I survive, I am a striver
I brave storms, sun and children
And you cry over stupid things.
How laughably facile!
I am a little flower.
I have a life.
I have a dream
I am beautiful

My reverie

It shimmers down every now and then
It jostles and plays around
It pumps life out of a trance
It goggles and settles down.

It overpowers the bravest
It underplays the proud
It fortifies the fragile
It waggles in the crowd.

It enraptures and astonishes
It terminates before dawn
It lays down the various possibilities
And plausibly reminisces the very cause.

It throttles while turning into an ordeal
It lives on when out of sight
It rekindles the entire world
Only to leave a glimpse behind.

It was derived from an Arabic word qah'wa which meant intoxicating liquors. Mecca condemned it, Egypt embraced it, the English of course stole it and I well, worship it. Still not got what I'm talking about? Well the king of all drinks, the "amrit" for modern day souls, "Coffee" of course. As a kid I never liked coffee, I still believe it is an acquired taste. It comes with maturity, understanding and of course sheer desperation. But one thing is assured once you acquire it you can't get rid of it. Coffee addiction is said to be one of the hardest addictions to get rid of. Considering there is no proven evidence of its repercussions or its benefits. It's not something you can go to rehab for. Though it might affect you life in many ways. I, for one, am a complete addict. I have been trying to get rid of it, but on account of getting withdrawal symptoms, I'm going very slowly. Anyways I've kind of collected an account of people towards coffee kinda thing. Read on...

• Akanksha I am proud to say is a coffee lover. Maybe not a complete lover. But she understands the value and essence of its soul. She also owes coffee a lot. A 95+ in science is one of them. LOL. This girl didn't sleep a wink before her science board. And what was the wonderful liquor which bolstered her? Coffee duh.
• Addi is another person I'm very proud of. She is my kind of coffee person. She loves her coffee the way it is. Minimal milk and sugar. Just the olfactory property and scrumptious taste of the wonderful beans. Though she isn't a hard core addict like me. She is the person to drink coffee with. I have lost count of our trips to Barista. Scaring people around us to bitching about people sitting with us.
• Radhika. Sigh. She deserves a slap when it comes to coffee. No not a slap she deserves to die when it comes to coffee. Okay here's the story. Last day of boards, these people stayed over. I had previously promised Radz a cup of my very talked about coffee. (I make awesome coffee) So true to my promise, I presented her with a cup of breathtaking and aromatic cafe. "Coffee" to make any coffee lover squirm. This woman takes a sip,decides it too strong for her. I disgustedly watch her put 2 spoons of sugar in it (I'd already added enough). I shake it off. But then she thinks its still not nice. So madam decides to put more milk. (even though the cup is overflowing). What she left with a glass of diluted coffee and a very annoyed friend. Bloody coffee virgin. Not getting any more coffee from me. You girl.
• Ipsi. Well she's a lost case. She doesn't like coffee. Though I suspect that's because of the calories involved. haha. But she still never minds coming out with me in my quest for some. The number of times we both have sat in barista or CCD, me sipping some cafe, she some stupid drink, gossiping and bitching. And ofcourse our discussions on liberated topics (cough cough) have raised many an eyebrow and have caused many tables to move away.
• Ava. This girls rocks in her coffee choice. Haha. Its almost identical to mine. Dark coffee addiction. Though shes lucky shes gotten over hers. How I have no idea. But ir emember at one point of time we both struggled with out withdrawal symptoms. But ofcourse my addiction did get cultivated by her. For instance all those evenings we have spent at PVR sipping coffee and discussing our endless problems hahaha. (hoe, saraswati, abhi, dj etc) Again scandalizing alot of people. LOL

Oh, and I completely forgot about me. Well I must take this opportunity to thank Nescafe. For helping me pass my boards. Coz of you guys I could have fun the whole day and then study at night. Thanks for having my back. Muah. And also I must thank StarBucks, for the many afternoons I found shelter at your shops, from a screaming mother and irritated father. In your cafes I found solace and the few seconds of peace.

Peace out.

The joys of being in 11nth. Aah the Tii--ruest form of joy. Sigh (Keep a hand on your heart and close your eyes) .
No longer does your teacher ask you if you did well after a test, instead she asks you something even more important "Will you pass beta?".
Suddenly you are struck with a bolt of realization. So this is why god created bunking! OOh this is why the backseat was invented. Oh my trusty old Cheating. Yes my dear, all of this created solely for you. Why you may ask, am i so special. Well for starters to prevent you from strangling yourself. Or worst leaving school and getting married. Or the end of all human kind running away to join bollywood. Yes, they are all preventive measures sweetheart.
Now in 11nth you must loose all your senses and study. You learn new and important definations like "Acceleration is when a body undergoes acceleration". And how can one forget 11nth is also when you acquire new tastes, like HCL, H2SO4 etc. All the wonderful tastes you are exposed to. Including the evr ready supply of coke and ecstacy. Sigh. Joy to the world.
Suddenly you wish you were back in 10nth giving your boards. Or worst u wish you could shift to Vidya kendra Mahila Mandal Sahiba School. But there are times class is fun. specially when people are throwing furniture at each other. Pointing out guys staring at other guys. And ofcourse the "funnest" when you witness teachers beating up children because of missing dusters. Sigh. Sigh.
But still i feel, it is high time we finish studying and do something real with our lives. I don't know maybe do a movie, learn karate and kick butt. or perhaps we could become those wine tasters. A million oppertunities. Then whats keeping me in school? Well The fear of being thrown out by my parents and certain unforgetable elements. Damn.
Ps. when i was writing this very pretty post, i was feelin very weird.

Okay starting off, heres a kiss to all my girls (including the guys... Specially rt n kb muah to u dudes) who made my 16nth birthday so memorable. Love you all!! "Ipsi's bear hug!!" I thought it was going to be a disaster. But it couldn't have been more perfect. Everything worked out (And I received some cool gifts)

Moving on now that I'm finally middle aged, my bad luck has returned. These trainings refuse to leave me alone. Now Next Saturday and Sunday I have MUN training. Lol. My poor Birthday sleep over. Completely jinxed. Though I'm very admanant that people still come. So what if we actually sleep for the first time. I don't care, I'm not postponing it further. Oh btw, here are some pics from akankshas birthday. She's looking really pretty. Hehe we kind of experimented on her. Haha.. I don't have all of them. Hopefully Akanksha will upload the rest of them. (radhika by the way missed all this. Poor her. I can only imagine what we would have done to her incase she had come)

Anyways The Future Cities training was great. We giggled and laughed the whole time. We blame it on the Kinley water, which we are sure was spiked. We also annoyed a lot of people there, with Hindi-Chini bhai bhai, lol. It was quite cool. The food was pretty good too, which was the main point. Then we formed those human trains and made fools of ourselves. Radhika also tripped over the projector on the way to our picture taking thing. That was funny too. Lol. She's really clumsy. Though I think we are going to probably kick everyone's ass. LOL


And further update on my back, its become a lot better. I no longer have to hold it when I'm coughing, like an old grandma. And heres a "Bengay Zindabad" It actually helped me in the end. Lol. Maybe now I can go back to golf and tennis. Yippee.

And now before I leave I make a serious request to all of you. My name is Shubhi, spelled "S-H-U-B-H-I" its not Shubhadra, Shubhleena, Shubhlums or any of those stupid names you call me. If you could kindly call me by my name, it would be appreciated. Thank you

Love
Shubhi

PS. Thanks to all those people who messaged me at 12. And all those people who I didn't message back. Sorry I had no idea who you were... Seriously they were unidentified numbers..

PPS. the pic has me, knshu, ipsi and isha sitting on the floor (im lookin quite stupid grinning away, how was I 2 no every1 else was gonna hv funeral like expressions??)

And for that I'm Thankful

I always knew I was special, more special than other kids. I always knew I was lucky; she was living proof of it. When I was young my father traveled for most of the month. My mother had a lot of work as she gripped with 2 children and her job. As my mom often says she never could make much time for me. Yet looking back, I cant remember even one day when I felt neglected or when I missed my parents. But then I suppose I didn’t need to, I always had her.

Everybody was always astounded how different our relationship was. She was like my surrogate mother. It was she who did all my work, from making me study, to planning my parties. Yet she was only 7 years elder to me. Growing up, I remained in total awe of her. And like most annoying kids, I copied everything that she did. Obviously she got irritated but she never really retaliated. Despite the fact we were two very different individuals my identity was based on her. My beliefs came from her thoughts. Someone would think this situation to be surreal, but it couldn’t be more real.

Every year on my birthday she would plan surprises, hide my gifts in different corners of the house. I still remember running all around trying to find those little things. On Christmas, she tried very hard to keep Santa alive; she would come up with weird stories, which were oddly convincing. Yes the first 11 years of my life were beautiful because of her. Then of course came the time when I was faced with reality.
She had to leave.

The three days after she left, I was in a perpetual daze She had gone away. Suddenly, I was left to face life by myself. I was at the point in my life my basic personality was going to develop and I was without the single most important person in my life. It was later I realized that in one way her going away had made me have a mind of her own. But even that realization doesn’t make me stop wanting to turn the clock and somehow keep her with me.

Today she lives thousands of miles away from me. We hardly get to talk once or twice a week. Yet she still is the first person I think of when I’m scared, when I’m depressed and even when I’m happy. Things are different in some ways. Sometimes our roles are reversed, its me who gives worldly advice and soothes and calms her. Yet our relationship never changed. For instance she refuses to stop treating me like a 3 year old. And she still writes essays on me and makes me cry. She still blows every cent she has on my gifts and she still calls me after she’s hung up. And she still reminds me every day that she loves me.

Yeah I always knew I was special, and I know I still am. Because I happen to have the best sister in the world. And for that, I’m thankful.

59 years on...

Honestly, I just started feeling excitement infuse in me this evening when my eyes fell on the latest issue of India Today and Outlook.

I’m one of those people who would never admit how much they hate the criticism directed at their country. I’m one of those people who strive to be genuinely open to all sorts of opinions without an element of prejudiced outlook but whose heart leaps with pleasure on the positive note and shrinks with discontentment on giving ears to a derogatory remark about their country. In short, I’m proud, egoistic, eccentric, pompous and all that when it comes to my country. I love my country and I’m too conceited to admit that it’s actually not all that good, that in reality, I don’t think there’s anything wrong in looking to the rest of the world for acknowledgement and appreciation, that even 59 years hence, Amartya Sen finds it hard not to feel frustrated about India for problems that he had grumbled about in the 50’s still persists on a large scale. You get the point. Right.

In keeping with the above, I wanted to bombard Ayaz Amir with hate letters when he audaciously enough wrote that Indians had an uncanny habit of blaming Pakistan for everything and that Pakistan had a policy of unilateral concessions to India!! Now he also went on to say, “Pakistanis wish India well. Only the official-level vibes irk them.” I just have one line for him, dude, the feeling is mutual.
I might have just sounded a little rough. Not that I have anything against Pakistan but I guess there’s one thing I agree with Mr. Amir on. After all, we do tend to frown on the very sound of the Kashmir issue.

And just incase you feel like giving a look to the positive aspects of our country, I leave you with this link.

Jai hind.

"How come every time you around, my London London Bridge wanna fall down"
For all those people who think I've lost it, i was just quoting this amazing song "London Bridge" by Fergie, its quite cool, with amazing lyrics. LOl (eyebrows raised). Now to start off with this is probably like my 3rd attempt to blog, the last 2 were in vain ( i was distracted my some elements). Yes moving on.. life has been pretty fast paced for me. I had a pathetic physics test which had no right to be that pathetic, considering i knew everything. Then we also had alot of stuff goin on wid Future cities... and the youth parliament. Even the 5 day long break has been pretty hectic. Hopefully things will clear up now... (hopefully that is) My birthday too is approaching. I have serious doubts about it though. I am expecting nothing, since i have a sneaky suspicion it will suck (on account of the chemistry test). For all the people who plan to come on my birthday sleepover, its been postponed to next friday. Hopefully it won't be too much of an inconvenience.
Now coming to happier topics, music is the only thing which makes me smile these days. Be it good charlotte, All american rejects or even John Mayer. By the way guys you have to listen to "promiscous girl" Its fantastic... hehe... and also "i write sins not tragedies" its cute 2 it has a line "Hasn't any1 herd of closing the damn door knob" hehe...
Anyways I'll be taking off, chemistry waits for no man.. (or in my case woman)
Cya
Shubhs

ps. Mun results come out on my birthday too, isn't that just perfect. Ugh

Happy Friendships day!

hey everybody

Happy Friendships day!!!!!!

hugs to all of my friends and also this quote i found;

"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself."

have a gr8 day.

10 places I want to visit...

The other day I found an article in some magazine, about a woman who at the age of 16, made a list 10 places she wants to visit before she dies. Now considering very soon I will be turning 16, I decided to make one of my own. These are the places I definitely want to go. Some of them are predictable, some are not. Hopefully before I die, I would have visited these places.

1.Egypt- The Pyramids and the mummies. At the Louvre I saw some mummies and they were the most eerie things I have ever seen. Still it would be awesome to see more.
2. Amsterdam- I was 8 when I read Anne Frank, since then I've always desperately wanted to go to Amsterdam and see the Annexe.
3. Andaman and Nicobar Islands- Well the Beaches of course! I've been to many but never really spent time there. I've yet to swim in the sea. Sad I know.
4. South Africa- Firstly for the wildlife and the beaches again. Not like I can't find it in India. But I still think it will be a completely different experience.
5. Bahrain- For the Grand Prix ofcourse. Its the nearest place from India where the Grand Prix is held. Also a race in the middle of the desert would be a spectacle to watch.
6. Rome- For the Spanish steps, Italian guys and cheese pasta. And maybe to say hi to the pope (in the Vatican ofcourse)
7. New York- To shop and eat hot dogs lol.
8. Lords- to see a cricket match ofcourse. I don't really like England. Its too gloomy. But this ofcourse is the mother of all cricket grounds.
9. Russia- I'm a huge history buff. And Russian History has always been one of my favorites. I'd love to go and research.
10. South of France- I've been to France. But we didn't really have a lot of time. I want to spend more time there.

Back aches and injuries....

My beloved mother pointed out to me today that this year has truly been eventful for me. I would have agreed had I not been wincing in pain as she applied some sort of pain reliever on my back. That pain reliever by the way did not relieve any pain. Yes anyways, as I was saying. This year has been extremely eventful for me. In June, when I was in Paris I sprained my neck. How it happened, please don't ask me. Its a very touchy topic in my family, with me and the parentals having clearly different opinions to the cause of it. Anyways, it pretty much ruined my last day in Paris. When I think back to the palace of Versailles, or the cute guy on the RATP, I can only remember the pain. Though it became perfectly fine as soon as we reached the states. Which also made my parentals very suspicious (so shakki).
Yeah and then yesterday I injured my back, which again got me into a lot of trouble. Apparently I shouldn't have tried playing football right after being sick for 5 days. (I missed the Monday Test btw.. haha) It was pretty awful for me. When i fell, I made all these weird noises, since I was trying to breathe and for some seconds I wasn't able to. But even when I was making these noises, I wondered how people around me weren't laughing. I know I would have, if I wasn't lying on the ground not being able to breath. Strong willed people I guess. Sigh.
Oh moving on, had our first stay back for future cities (yup even with my sore back). It was pretty cool. Two people came to brief us. It's going to be pretty difficult I presume. Lotta work, well its always good to try new things I suppose. The training workshop by the way starts on my birthday. That and considering the chem test is also on that very day. I have a good feeling this birthday is going to be a disaster.
Anyways I shall go and eat some real food (only eaten apples and hully gully since morning)
Cya
Shubhi
PS. Radz got chased by A mosquito.